One way to confirm that you're a total nerd is to wake up to this nightmare: you have a chance social encounter with the head acquisitions editor of a very prestigious university press, which gets you talking about your book that's about to come out soon from a rival with less overall cachet despite clearly owning the field of your new monograph. Mr. Acquisitions Editor says his press would've loved to have got your book, that he could even help you get out of your contract with your publisher, and that he would market the hell out of your baby to make you rich and famous. You're paralyzed by indecision... Smash cut to waking up sometime after midnight in a cold sweat with the taste of bile in your mouth. #academicchatter