It's easy to forget that there are many different experiences of loneliness.
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It's easy to forget that there are many different experiences of loneliness.
There is a person who goes on dates, goes to parties and has friends at work, who hangs out with their "mates" from school but they are VERY lonely.
There is a person who lives alone, mostly talks to people online calls their folks every other month and maybe hangs out with their friend IRL 5 times a year. They are not lonely. They are worried you noticed this and are going to ... suggest things to them.
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It's easy to forget that there are many different experiences of loneliness.
There is a person who goes on dates, goes to parties and has friends at work, who hangs out with their "mates" from school but they are VERY lonely.
There is a person who lives alone, mostly talks to people online calls their folks every other month and maybe hangs out with their friend IRL 5 times a year. They are not lonely. They are worried you noticed this and are going to ... suggest things to them.
I do think it would be strange not to be lonely at all when living on your own for the first time, especially in a new place. This is made worse by people who do this being in their early 20s and only having hazy notions of what "not lonely" might look like for them.
I don't think awkward, introverted people are more likely to be lonely (hot take) though they may waste more time trying things meant for extroverts that will never work.
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It's easy to forget that there are many different experiences of loneliness.
There is a person who goes on dates, goes to parties and has friends at work, who hangs out with their "mates" from school but they are VERY lonely.
There is a person who lives alone, mostly talks to people online calls their folks every other month and maybe hangs out with their friend IRL 5 times a year. They are not lonely. They are worried you noticed this and are going to ... suggest things to them.
@futurebird
I've been thinking a lot about this. "Studies show..." people are happier and live longer when they socialize a lot, etc., but I think those studies are about extroverts. I don't socialize a lot irl but I don't feel lonely at all. And the older I get, the less I want to go to parties. -
@futurebird
I've been thinking a lot about this. "Studies show..." people are happier and live longer when they socialize a lot, etc., but I think those studies are about extroverts. I don't socialize a lot irl but I don't feel lonely at all. And the older I get, the less I want to go to parties.@dillyd @futurebird An episode about loneliness on the Startalk podcast this week upset me because it leaned heavily into being more extroverted as the key to avoiding loneliness — that introverts should practice more extroverted behavior to cure their loneliness. Usually they’re pretty good about handling topics evenhandedly, but in this episode I felt like they were kinda critical and dismissive about introverts and our struggles living in an extroverted world.
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F myrmepropagandist shared this topic
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@dillyd @futurebird An episode about loneliness on the Startalk podcast this week upset me because it leaned heavily into being more extroverted as the key to avoiding loneliness — that introverts should practice more extroverted behavior to cure their loneliness. Usually they’re pretty good about handling topics evenhandedly, but in this episode I felt like they were kinda critical and dismissive about introverts and our struggles living in an extroverted world.
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@SunnJax @dillyd @futurebird Funny how there’s never any advice on extroverted people being more like introverts.
People are happiest when they live a life most closely aligned with their true self - whatever that is.@stephaniepixie @SunnJax @futurebird
It would be fun to write advice articles to extroverts about toning it down and sitting with their own thoughts for a while, and ffs stop bothering everybody with your constant chatter and stay out of other people's personal space. Studies show you'll live longer and be happier if you can learn those skills. -
@stephaniepixie @SunnJax @futurebird
It would be fun to write advice articles to extroverts about toning it down and sitting with their own thoughts for a while, and ffs stop bothering everybody with your constant chatter and stay out of other people's personal space. Studies show you'll live longer and be happier if you can learn those skills.@stephaniepixie @SunnJax @futurebird
PS to my extrovert friends: I love you and I don't want you to change! I'm just laughing at how us introverts are often told to change. -
@stephaniepixie @SunnJax @futurebird
PS to my extrovert friends: I love you and I don't want you to change! I'm just laughing at how us introverts are often told to change.@dillyd @stephaniepixie @SunnJax @futurebird
I did often get the feeling that the extroverts were suffering terribly during the CoViD isolation stuff.
Personally, I found it quite calming a lot of the time, and just a teeny bit guilty about that...
But then, I'm in the country and had quite a bit of nature to walk around in. Being in a small apartment in the city would've been rough.
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@dillyd @stephaniepixie @SunnJax @futurebird
I did often get the feeling that the extroverts were suffering terribly during the CoViD isolation stuff.
Personally, I found it quite calming a lot of the time, and just a teeny bit guilty about that...
But then, I'm in the country and had quite a bit of nature to walk around in. Being in a small apartment in the city would've been rough.
@TerryHancock @dillyd @stephaniepixie @SunnJax
I was in a small apartment and felt much the same as you. Though. We have, like, parks and stuff. There's a whole river right over there! You can grill and watch the boats.
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It's easy to forget that there are many different experiences of loneliness.
There is a person who goes on dates, goes to parties and has friends at work, who hangs out with their "mates" from school but they are VERY lonely.
There is a person who lives alone, mostly talks to people online calls their folks every other month and maybe hangs out with their friend IRL 5 times a year. They are not lonely. They are worried you noticed this and are going to ... suggest things to them.
@futurebird Since I love recommending books, I'll drop this here for everyone who might see it:
"Loneliness" by John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick
I would say that, for me personally, it's the most important book I've ever read and it profoundly changed how I view human nature.
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It's easy to forget that there are many different experiences of loneliness.
There is a person who goes on dates, goes to parties and has friends at work, who hangs out with their "mates" from school but they are VERY lonely.
There is a person who lives alone, mostly talks to people online calls their folks every other month and maybe hangs out with their friend IRL 5 times a year. They are not lonely. They are worried you noticed this and are going to ... suggest things to them.
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@futurebird@sauropods.win I expected this to turn into a discussion about a lonely ant
