Sometimes when you find someone is unwilling to learn or change their mind about an issue it's because someone they care about, someone they respect has a certain view.
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Sometimes when you find someone is unwilling to learn or change their mind about an issue it's because someone they care about, someone they respect has a certain view. And they think changing their mind would be put distance between themselves and that person.
No mountain of facts or demonstration of evidence can change a person with such an anchor.
But, sometimes, the anchor isn't even real.
A person will cling to the illogical because they *think* "nana wouldn't like this"
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Sometimes when you find someone is unwilling to learn or change their mind about an issue it's because someone they care about, someone they respect has a certain view. And they think changing their mind would be put distance between themselves and that person.
No mountain of facts or demonstration of evidence can change a person with such an anchor.
But, sometimes, the anchor isn't even real.
A person will cling to the illogical because they *think* "nana wouldn't like this"
Sometimes they hang on to the dead ideas of their ideological anchor even harder when they never really talk to the person anymore. Or worse yet, the anchor is dead.
But some sense of guilt, some desire to keep that link alive causes a kind of emotional transference.
By standing up for the nonsense, or worse yet the violence and bigotry of this person they are "keeping their memory alive"
It can be very frustrating.
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Sometimes they hang on to the dead ideas of their ideological anchor even harder when they never really talk to the person anymore. Or worse yet, the anchor is dead.
But some sense of guilt, some desire to keep that link alive causes a kind of emotional transference.
By standing up for the nonsense, or worse yet the violence and bigotry of this person they are "keeping their memory alive"
It can be very frustrating.
I have had some luck by trying to find out about the anchor when I suspect one exists. In one case just talking about this person seemed to help those feelings of guilt and neglect of family in a more healthy way. And shockingly the person softened on the nonsense issue.
I wonder how common this is?
I wonder if I do it and don't even notice?
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I have had some luck by trying to find out about the anchor when I suspect one exists. In one case just talking about this person seemed to help those feelings of guilt and neglect of family in a more healthy way. And shockingly the person softened on the nonsense issue.
I wonder how common this is?
I wonder if I do it and don't even notice?
@futurebird I suspect that a large part of the problem is when people don't have a habit of introspection -- examining their own thoughts, questioning their own decisions and beliefs.
I often find myself asking myself what my dead ideological anchor might do or say in a certain situation, just as a starting point -- but I also remember clearly that we didn't agree on everything, and that she herself wasn't proud of everything she did, so then I try to dig a little deeper to figure out what our shared ideals might have had to say on the subject.
...TLDR: I think those of us who do have that introspective tendency are far less likely to fall into belief-traps like this -- especially once we can identify a belief that seems to need further examination.
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F myrmepropagandist shared this topic on
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I have had some luck by trying to find out about the anchor when I suspect one exists. In one case just talking about this person seemed to help those feelings of guilt and neglect of family in a more healthy way. And shockingly the person softened on the nonsense issue.
I wonder how common this is?
I wonder if I do it and don't even notice?
@futurebird Seems related to the study that showed everyone in a small town would vote against their own interests if the individual voters thought that was how everyone else in the community was voting.
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@futurebird Seems related to the study that showed everyone in a small town would vote against their own interests if the individual voters thought that was how everyone else in the community was voting.
Do you remember the name of that study?
