In the ongoing adventures of 'Ben not understanding how to human', this evening......
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In the ongoing adventures of 'Ben not understanding how to human', this evening...... There's a guy at the running club who is really friendly. Lovely guy. But he's always shaking my hand or doing that handshake half hug thing that some guys do. Which I understand on a philosophical level is normal and what people do to express friendship. But I'm not very good at that sort of thing, and am usually always 85% masking. I don't like people being in my personal space or touching me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to deal with that. However I'm pretty good in social situations at putting people at ease - I remember peoples names and a fact or two about them so ask them 'how is the thing going', and that seems to make people comfortable - like I'm not some weirdo who doesn't understand how NT people work. Made a slight misjudgement this evening where I turned around and saw him, was momentarily surprised, and just full on hugged him. Like a tender embrace. He looked like I'd slapped him in the face then didn't talk to me for the rest of the evening. Nice work, Ben. Must remember in future not to just embrace people like a lover or beloved relative at a funeral.
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In the ongoing adventures of 'Ben not understanding how to human', this evening...... There's a guy at the running club who is really friendly. Lovely guy. But he's always shaking my hand or doing that handshake half hug thing that some guys do. Which I understand on a philosophical level is normal and what people do to express friendship. But I'm not very good at that sort of thing, and am usually always 85% masking. I don't like people being in my personal space or touching me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to deal with that. However I'm pretty good in social situations at putting people at ease - I remember peoples names and a fact or two about them so ask them 'how is the thing going', and that seems to make people comfortable - like I'm not some weirdo who doesn't understand how NT people work. Made a slight misjudgement this evening where I turned around and saw him, was momentarily surprised, and just full on hugged him. Like a tender embrace. He looked like I'd slapped him in the face then didn't talk to me for the rest of the evening. Nice work, Ben. Must remember in future not to just embrace people like a lover or beloved relative at a funeral.
How long are you supposed to shake someone's hand? People keep doing it and it is far too long. Am I a conspicuously short shaker? Should I just do it for ages and let them be the first one to break? I've tried doing it for ages but it gets super weird super fast. Are you supposed to shake hands for like 30 seconds+? That seems insane.
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How long are you supposed to shake someone's hand? People keep doing it and it is far too long. Am I a conspicuously short shaker? Should I just do it for ages and let them be the first one to break? I've tried doing it for ages but it gets super weird super fast. Are you supposed to shake hands for like 30 seconds+? That seems insane.
Maybe because I'm a woman and teacher it's all different but I almost never shake anyone's hand.
Not parents. Not students (whut? lol?) ... the only time it happens is when I meet my husband's business friends. It's an odd cultural pocket thing and very disorienting.
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Maybe because I'm a woman and teacher it's all different but I almost never shake anyone's hand.
Not parents. Not students (whut? lol?) ... the only time it happens is when I meet my husband's business friends. It's an odd cultural pocket thing and very disorienting.
@futurebird @TheBreadmonkey I worked in the Career Services department of a college and we often shook hands... colleagues, recruiters, occasionally students (especially those nearing graduation). But much of it seemed to be modeling behavior for students, which made sense.
I volunteer with a non-profit and one guy always gives me a big hug, like we were long-lost cousins.
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@futurebird @TheBreadmonkey I worked in the Career Services department of a college and we often shook hands... colleagues, recruiters, occasionally students (especially those nearing graduation). But much of it seemed to be modeling behavior for students, which made sense.
I volunteer with a non-profit and one guy always gives me a big hug, like we were long-lost cousins.
1/2
@futurebird @TheBreadmonkey Another guy has occasionally shaken my hand, rather seriously, which I find unusual for a man (whom I recently learned is in his early 70s) when greeting a woman in an informal setting. But not unpleasant.
Other groups I volunteer or go on nature walks with, no touching. We're not unfriendly, we just don't shake hands or hug. It was like that before COVID, too. Sometimes it's just organizational culture.
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